


Reticence ( Kid!Zayn) ( Larry Family)

by zauthor



Series: Reticence [2]
Category: One Direction (Band), Zayn Malik (Musician)
Genre: Based on True Events, Cruel People, Domestic Violence, Gay marraige, Kid Fic, Lots of other stuff, M/M, Mpreg, Zayn-centric, larry family, possible
Language: English
Status: In-Progress
Published: 2016-02-25
Updated: 2016-10-17
Packaged: 2018-05-23 04:43:52
Rating: General Audiences
Warnings: Graphic Depictions Of Violence
Chapters: 7
Words: 13,804
Publisher: archiveofourown.org
Story URL: https://archiveofourown.org/works/6105268
Author URL: https://archiveofourown.org/users/zauthor/pseuds/zauthor
Summary: <blockquote class="userstuff">
              <p>Everybody thought that he was too stupid to understand what went around him.<br/>However, what they didn't know was that he did.<br/>He just chose not to talk about it.<br/>He was reticent, not dumb.</p>
            </blockquote>





	1. zero

Zayn sat at the top of the stairs looking down at all of his cousins.

" Liam! Niall! I missed you guys so much." Zayn smiled as Hera jumped up hugging both of his cousins. 

His uncle and aunt had just arrived with their children and everyone was very excited. They lived in their rented apartment in London and had come over for the weekend. Eli, his dad Harry's brother, worked as a manager in a clothing factory, while, his wife, Gabriel was a stay at home mom. Their oldest son Niall was five years old. With his brown hair and blue eyes, he was an exact replica of his father. He had just started going to school and never stopped boasting about all the new words he learnt. His younger brother Liam was three, a year younger than Zayn. He had his mother's brown hair and brown eyes but his face cut was more like his father's. The youngest of them all was a one-year-old baby girl, Harriet. She was one of the cutest baby that Zayn had ever seen but to him, Stan was cuter than her. 

Stan was his Aunt Fiona's son. Fiona was Harry's older sister, her husband had left the country in search of a job and now he lived there. They had four children. Darren, the eldest son was 15 years old. He was a huge guy, with his stunned height and excess weight, but his mother still treated him like a fragile child. After that was Annie, she was 13 years old and already a very responsible girl. She loved helping her mother and she had all the qualities that one would like in an ideal women. Hera was next in line. Being the youngest child for a very long time, she was extremely spoiled. She was merely seven but treated everyone as if they were the scum of the earth and she was some kind of royalty. Last but not the least was Stan. He seven months older than Harriet, and Zayn's best friend.  
Harry and Louis had been living with Fiona even before Zayn's birth. They usually stayed in the upper portion of the two-story house, in their designated little room. His Dad only left for work while his Papa rarely left the room. Zayn liked staying in the room, there was less noise when he was in the room. No one yelled in their room. The four-year-old boy never went downstairs without one of his fathers, and even then he liked hiding behind their legs and staying quiet.  
He could speak alright, unlike what some of his family members thought, he just didn't like to. The raven haired lad liked watching people as they talked, listening to them and absorbing their expressions. He just didn't like talking himself. Maybe it was because of his shy nature or maybe it was something else but he didn't like talking to people who were not his parents.  
Most of the times when he wanted to interact with someone he would sit on the top of the steps, peeking through the railing, to look downstairs. He would watch everyone as they remained occupied in their work, unaware of his presence. Zayn liked knowing that nobody could see him and he could look at them however he liked. He would sit there for however long he wanted before turning back and walking into his room back to his father.  
So when his Papa told him that Uncle Eli was coming over with his family, Zayn had excitedly sat on his step looking downstairs, anticipated. He had waited for the longest of times, watching as Hera and Annie set the table of the living room placing a lot of nice smelling food on it. He diverted his gaze from the food, trying not to get hungry as his Dad had not yet returned and he would only be able to eat until he came back with it. For a second he wondered what was his Dad going to bring today. If it was going to be nuggets or fries? before shaking his head as his stomach grumbled in excitement. He looked down trying to see if anybody had noticed him but was distracted as the front door opened revealing his uncle and his family.  
He frowned as Aunt Fiona hugged Aunt Gabriel before turning towards her brother. Everybody was smiling and had happy expressions on their faces but all Zayn had, were a few questions. What was different about them? Why did Aunt Fiona love them? Why did she hate him and his parents? He tilted his head, a sad expression on his face but smiled when he saw Liam and Niall. Hera was talking to them animatedly with her face glowing and her eyes tingling. Zayn wanted to talk to them and play with them but he did not move.  
" Where is Harry? " Eli asked, situating himself on the couch. He crossed his legs in front of himself, his posture stern. There was something in his aura, something authoritative. Something stony.  
" He should be here in a few. Start eating the food is getting cold." Fiona made Eli a plate, setting it in front of him. She was smiling and it felt odd. Zayn had never seen her smile ever in his life and the usually cold face brightly lit with a smile made him feel strange.  
" Is he still here?" Eli asked, cutting a piece of his meat, an eerieness to his voice.  
" Louis?" Fiona's smile faltered, replacing itself with a disgusted expression. Zayn perked up at his papa's name, a little frown on his lips. Eli nodded, his eyes fixed to the plate. " He'll be gone soon. You won't have to see him."  
" Is Kit here?" Gabriel said in her sickly sweet voice. Zayn's eyes widened at the mention of his own name.  
" Yeah, but he likes to stay upstairs. I don't think he would come downstairs." He exhaled quietly, thanking Aunt Sharon in his head.  
" I see him! He's there!" Liam jumped up pointing towards the banister, he had a huge smile on his face. The sudden gesture causing Zayn to retreat back a little on the step. " Kit, come downstairs."  
Zayn just sat there, shaking his head lightly. He might've wanted to go down but he wanted to wait for his Papa, so they could go together.  
" Kitto, come down. Don't you want to meet Aunt Gaby?" Her overly sweet freaked out the four-year-old. She was so sweet with everyone except his Papa and that confused his little mind more than it should've.  
" Come on kit! We are gonna play hide and seek." Niall jumped turning towards the stairs.  
" Let him be. His father has brainwashed him. He won't come downstairs." Zayn frowned at Aunt Fiona's hateful words. He didn't know what she was talking about, what had dad and Papa done?  
" Come on, Kit." Zayn cried when Niall pulled him off the stair. He jerked himself back keeping his ground. Niall looked at him a confused look on his face.  
" Is he coming?" Liam yelled from downstairs. Zayn shifted his gaze from the blond to look at his brother.  
" No, Li he won't move!" Niall turned back, hopping off of the stairs. Zayn breathed, feeling as if they were finally going to stop coaxing him. He did not get it, why did they want him to come down? Nobody ever did. They might have seen him once or twice but they never tell him to come down.  
" Kit? Zayn, come on. I want to play with you." The three-year-old had babbled to him, pulling him off the stair with full force. Zayn cried not wanting to leave his place, almost scared to go downstairs without his father. " Why do you not want to play with me?" Liam jumped.  
Zayn frowned, a weird emotion settling in his heart. Liam wanted to play with him. He was going to answer when suddenly he was pulled from his hair and dragged down stairs. For a three-year-old, Liam was very powerful. He was a very angry little toddler and did not like being refused.  
" Liam!" Eli screamed as Zayn landed on the floor when Liam pushed him. Liam loosened his grasp on black hair, leaving Zayn to curl on the floor and cry to himself.  
" He wouldn't play with me! It's his fault!" The three-year-old shouted, earning a glare from his father.  
" Hey, kit?" Eli picked Zayn up clutching him to his chest. Zayn squirmed feeling uncomfortable in the grasp of a strange man. Blood relative or not his uncle was a stranger to him. " It's fine, baby. I will punish Liam. Why wouldn't you come downstairs?" He sat back on his place, settling Zayn on his lap.  
Zayn hiccupped looking at everyone around him. All of them had amused expressions on their faces, they were either laughing or they had. Zayn turned his head away from them looking back to the stairs, desperately wanting to go back to his Papa.  
" Louis doesn't let him come downstairs. So, he just sits on the steps and look down like a stupid child." Fiona sighed, a very sad expression on her face. " Poor kid."  
Eli looked at her and then back at Zayn. " Don't listen to your mum. You can come down whenever." He said to the hiccuping baby. Zayn wanted to say that he did not have a mummy and he had two dad's but he stayed quiet.  
Fortunately, the front door opened gaining his attention and he leaped from his Uncle's lap to run to his father. Harry picked him up as soon as his eyes landed on him.  
" Hey, Wolverine? What happened baby?" Harry picked him up, settling him in his chest. The thirty-one-year-old man frowned, confused to see his son downstairs, as tears leaked out his eyes.  
" Nothing, he wouldn't come downstairs, so Liam pulled him a little." Zayn cried contradicting the statement in his head. His scalp burned and he could feel a little blood on his knee but he didn't say anything.  
" Eli! How are you?" Harry smiled hugging his brother while bouncing his baby on his hip.  
" I'm fine. How are you, Harry? " Eli, smiled at his youngest brother, hugging him slightly.  
" Fine. Hi, Gabby." He walked over to Gabriel shaking her hand while she kept eating her food.  
" How are you, Harry?" She swallowed her food, letting out the words in between bites.  
" Perfect, where are the kids? Harriet is looking cute. She's bigger than last time." Harry smiled pinching her cheek slightly making the one-year-old squirm in her mother's lap.  
" Uncle Harry!" Harry turned to hug Liam and Niall, balancing Zayn in his arm.  
" Oh, you guys are getting strong! " Harry mocked breathlessness before pushing them off of himself.  
" Kit wouldn't come downstairs. Does he not like us Uncle Harry?" Niall asked, his eyes big and confuses. Harry looked over to his baby, carding a hand through his hair. Zayn was still crying slightly, the pout permanent on his face. Harry opened his mouth to reply but was cut off when Fiona spoke.  
" You should tell Louis to stop telling Zayn that he can't come downstairs. I know he doesn't like us but Kit is just a baby. He shouldn't be brought into our fights." She said with a sad expression, making Harry nod slightly. The curly haired lad knew that his husband didn't stop their child from anything but he was just not in the mood for a fight. " Eli is going to have a rest and you should drop him off to his mother's."  
Harry swallowed, all the happiness in his veins dissipating out of his body. He cradled Zayn closer to himself, before walking upstairs.  
" Daddy?" He was alerted by Zayn's little voice, as he opened the door to his room.  
" Yes, Wolverine? " He removed the hair from his forehead, wiping the tears softly and placing a gentle kiss on his cheek.  
" Food?" Zayn spoke his eyes wide in confusion. Harry felt a pull at his chest. He was so excited about his brother's visit that he totally forgot about the food situation.  
" Let's get papa and then we'll get food." He smiled, kissing Zayn again.  
" What happened to him?" Louis jumped up from the bed, taking Zayn from Harry's grasp.  
" Papa, Liam hit me! He pulled my hair and he pushed me on the floor." Zayn blabbered, the tears shining in his eyes. Louis bounced him on his hip, kissing him on the forehead.  
" Why did he hit you?" Louis pulled off his pants, revealing the large purple bruise on his knee, a little blood seeping out of it.  
" I didn't want to go downstairs but he pulled me!" Harry changed into comfortable clothes, a sad feeling gnawing at his intestines. He looked back to Louis who was giving him a disapproving look.  
" We are going to granny's and we are going to have a lot of fun and it's going to be fine okay?" Louis turned to the toddler cleaning the bruise on his knee as best as he could without hurting him too much.  
" McDonald's or ice cream?" Harry walked over to Zayn, trying to distract the baby from pain. As soon as he heard his father, Zayn started crying more making Harry's heart hurt. The four-year-old wouldn't stop crying no matter how much Harry tried coaxing him.  
" Baby, I'm done it shouldn't hurt now," Louis said, barely holding back his own tears.  
" It's done Kit. Does it still hurt?" Harry asked him but huffed when he got no response but the constant crying.  
" Let's get food, maybe that's what you want." Harry picked him up, bouncing him trying to calm him down.  
Both the parents were lost on what had happened but only Zayn knew why he was crying that much. He knew that he was going to have to stay way from his Dad and his Papa would stay in bed and only granny would be there for him. He was sad. He wanted to yell that he didn't want to go, but instead he cried and chose not to say anything.  
+

Hi guys,

I'm Sara and well most of you know that. Since everybody wanted me to post it, I did. Thank yourself for that. I love every single one of you.

This is my first kidfic and I am going to warn you. It's gonna be sad and then maybe a little happy. I'm also thinking Ziam but it's gonna be a long time till that happens. This is basically extremely personal to me. It's literally the glimpses of life that I remember. 

Only my parents weren't gay, they married for love.

Anyhow, what did you guys like about it? What do you think is going to happen? Do you like it? Tell me anything. Leave feedback and I will absolutely love you for it.

Preach.Comment.Vote.Love Zayn

Love,

Sara.


	2. one

In retrospect, Priscilla Tomlinson had always been a patient woman. For her, life had always been a tough path to follow, throwing one obstacle after another, as an attempt to break her, somehow or the other. She had always stood her ground and accepted the challenges it threw at her, successfully dodging them. Whether, it was her mother's death, when she was merely a baby. Or her father's ignorant attitude towards her, which lead her to be affected by polio and losing movement in her right shoulder. Or her husband dying in the wake of his alcoholism, leaving her to support their five children on her own. Regardless of the problem and situation, Priscilla never broke and kept her grace. However, seeing her oldest son lying in the bed for days, as if he had no purpose in life, was finally cracking her well-kept resolve.  
It had been like the previous years, only, this time, she knew what was happening, and she was almost prepared for it. Or so she had thought. Harry had come exactly a day before Christmas dumping Louis and Zayn on Priscilla's doorstep, and like all the other times he had left before anyone had the chance to open the door. On an individual level it offended Priscilla, the whole ordeal, but she kept it to herself not wanting to upset her son, more than required.  
Louis was the perfect example of a broken man. His shoulders slumped, an indifferent expression on his face. Deep bags consumed his eyes, pronouncing the blue color more than ever. Without even sparing a glance to anyone, he had handed Zayn over to an overly excited Billy and left for his room, where he would spend the next few days or so in his self-imposed exile. To some extent, Priscilla understood her son and so she left him alone, in the company of his demons. Moments like these reminded her of who Louis use to be. His son, with the radiant smile and the usual mischief in his eyes. Always creative, drawing one thing or the other, recycling plain old clothes and turning them into his masterpieces, giving new haircuts to the entire household, turning them into the 'coolest people in the world'. It ached her heart, as she saw that Louis crumble and fall, becoming the person he was now. Hollow and depressed. The once cheerful and bright lad had adapted to his surroundings becoming dull and monotonous. He was not the Louis, who was famous for being positively reckless in his entire family but the helpless guy who had given up everything to marry Harry.  
Priscilla was aware of the unjust treatment Louis received at the hand of his in-law's, so she left him alone to mend himself for the time that was to come.  
Christmas passed, and Louis didn't come out of his room. No one disturbed him, well aware of the fact that it wouldn't matter. No sort of comfort would be enough for him; he was inconsolable. Even little Zayn knew to keep his distance. Never once throughout the whole celebration, had he asked for either one of his father's, sitting quietly watching various Christmas movies with his uncles and aunts, a small smile present on his face.  
Priscilla loved Zayn more than anything in the entire world. In her perspective, he made every hardship, every crisis and every fight worth it. Personally, she hadn't gotten that much time to spend with her children, being caught up in her job and the realities of life. So, she was starting it all with Zayn. Her feelings for that little boy were more complex than any normal relationship of such nature. Zayn was the reason she was willing to accept Harry and his no-good family. He was the reason it didn't felt like Louis threw away his life entirely. In fact, Zayn was the reason she was surviving.  
It had a lot to do with the toddler and his nature itself. He was always a good boy, never questioning anything, just going on with everything that happened around him. He never complained and never asked for anything, staying happy with whatever he had. Most importantly, he was an intelligent child, understanding what was said to him without the need to repeat it twice. Everybody could tell he was pretty mature for his age and Priscilla couldn't decide if it was a good or a bad thing.  
It felt as if it was only yesterday when she had seen Zayn for the first time. Holding him for the first time had been a task in itself, due to her disability but when the baby molded himself as such that it would be easier for her to hold him, that was when Priscilla had known that Zayn was something different, something special. In their household, he was the first baby and Hence, became the focus of attention. To say everyone loved him would be quite the understatement. They couldn't get enough of him. All of a sudden there were fights in the house regarding who was going to feed the baby, bath the baby and even change the baby. The delivery had been very hard on Louis, and so he had resigned to his bed. So, all things considered, it was a good thing that everybody wanted to help out.  
For the longest of time, Zayn had been regarded to as 'the baby' until one day when Mel had finally gotten tired of it and started calling him Kitten. It was weird at first but with time, it just stuck and even now he was called by that name more often than his real one. Like everything, Harry's family had found a defect within the nickname too. Apparently, it wasn't manly enough and so without the need to consider the emotions behind that nickname, they had morphed it into their version. Kit, they called him. Now, Priscilla didn't have any problems with it. In fact, it felt pretty ridiculous to her, changing a nickname that is.  
Conclusively, Priscilla was very fond of Zayn, and she was willing to bear anything and everything, as long as he remained unharmed.  
It was two days after new year, and everybody was returning to their life. Everybody except Louis. The cerulean eyed lad was still stuck in his bed not willing to move even an inch from his position. Harry hadn't called him in days, and there was no telling of when he was going to come and get them. In the morning when Priscilla had to leave for her teaching duties at the local school, she had called out to Louis and had told him that Zayn was sleeping, and she wouldn't be able to take him. The detached reply should've been enough sign for her but it was a rough morning, and she was in a rush. Besides, She trusted Louis to take care of his son. It didn't occur to her once that a person who was completely enveloped by his depression that he doesn't remember where he is at times, wasn't technically illegible for taking care of a toddler.  
Nevertheless, she left Zayn under the supervision of a bedridden Louis.  
The entire day she wondered about the toddler and his well-being, a strange uneasiness pooling under her skin. She had tried calling Louis wanting to remind him that Zayn would be waking up soon but everytime it went straight to voicemail. By the time lunch came around, Priscilla was already jumping out of her seat, trying to get home as soon as possible. She sincerely hoped that she was irrationally paranoid, but the knots twisting in her gut told her otherwise.  
Walking inside, she had called for her grandson.  
" Zayn." The knot in her gut tightened when he did not immediately reply. Dropping her bags, she power walked to her room expecting to see her grandson still in the bed but, unfortunately, he was not there. Placing a hand on her chest she searched for him in the kitchen and then in Louis' room, where the feathery-haired lad was still sleeping, but Zayn was nowhere to be found.  
" Kitten." She tried calling him again, but there was no response. Passing a hand through her hair, she tried to calm herself. It wasn't like her grandson could've gone out of the house. The little boy didn't even knew how the door knobs worked. Shaking her head, she took a deep breath. Coincidently, her eyes landed on the stuffed doll on the ground. She frowned, furrowing her eyebrow. It was 'Kelly'. That doll was the only toy that Zayn had asked for himself, and so, Priscilla could pinpoint it anywhere. From what she had observed Zayn had trouble sleeping without it, and so he kept it close to himself, in case he had to move somewhere.  
Skeptically, she reached out to pick up the doll, letting her eyes divert to the space under the stairs. With a startled gasp, she dropped the toy, placing one of her hand on her racing heart. There under the stairs sat her four-year-old grandson, with one of her thumbs in his mouth and tear tracks apparent on his cheeks. Zayn's eyes were closed, his eyelashes clumped together, as soft snores escaped him. He was clearly asleep.  
Priscilla felt a pang in her chest. Her only grandchild was hiding under the staircase, definitely scared out of his wits. Her first instinct was to gently pull out the baby and inspect him for any injuries. When she was satisfied, she tried to wake him up but soon discovered that it was no use. Zayn had tired himself out to the point where he couldn't wake up even if he wanted to. Remorsefully she laid the child on the floor, careful about his head. It wasn't the first time that the fifty-year-old lady had felt handicapped due to her disability, but it was the first time she felt incredibly helpless. She couldn't even pick her distressed grandson up, just to place him on a more comfortable ground.  
Enraged, she walked over to her son's room, opening the door with a forceful thud. Priscilla understood Louis' discouragement about life, but she did not understand his carelessness towards his son. Honestly, she was scared that this would only be the start of Louis' negligent behaviour towards Zayn, and that was unacceptable to her. She couldn't let Zayn grow up to be the neglected child, who was the result of his parents' tumultuous marriage.  
"Get up." She pulled the cover off of him, throwing them on the floor. Louis gave her a confused glance before closing his eyes and folding in on himself.  
" No, Louis! get up now!" She pulled at his shoulders, trying to get him out of his fetal position.  
" Leave me alone." He groaned, pulling his arms over his eyes.  
" Where is Zayn, Louis?" She crossed her arms in front of her chest. " Where is he?" With all of her might, she tried to pull his arms off of his face.  
" I don't know!" He yelled, huffing in annoyance.  
" Well, you should know! I left him under your care!" Priscilla wanted to pull her hair out, at her son's indifferent behaviour.  
" He's okay." Louis rolled his eyes, intensifying the anger spreading under Priscilla's skin. Nevertheless, she breathed deeply trying to keep herself calm and continued.  
" Did you check on him, Louis? Even once?" Her nose flared, in exasperation. " He is your son Louis." She reminded him through gritted teeth.  
" I know, he is my son!" Louis yelled, sitting up straight.  
" Well, then you should know that he is scared of being left alone!" She finally snapped, screaming out frustration.  
" Then why'd you leave him alone?" He spat, successfully matching his mother's tone.  
" I didn't leave him alone! I left him with his father!" She stomped her feet.  
" I'm not his only father! Why should I be the only one to care for him?" Her eyes widened at the ridicule of his statement.  
" For god sakes, are you listening to yourself?" She frowned, rubbing her temples in the hope of chasing away the headache. " Not his only father? " She dropped her hands to her sides, giving him an incredulous look. What had Louis even meant by that? " You know what? It's my fault; I should've known better then trusting you with him."  
" At least, I'm there for him." He retorted back, immediately.  
" Yeah? Where? Why can't I see it? You weren't there for him when he waited three hours for anyone his dad's to come before Billy forced him to open his presents. You weren't there for him when he got locked in the washroom and couldn't open the door because he didn't know how. You weren't there for him when he couldn't sleep at night, and he called for you before tiring himself out to the point he passed out from exhaustion. You weren't there this morning when he woke up, and he couldn't find anyone around him. He got so scared that he hid under the staircase, crying himself to sleep. You haven't noticed, but you are not there Louis. You are not there for him." She shook her head, diverting her gaze towards the ground.  
" He doesn't need me there, nobody does." By that time Priscilla wanted to smash her head on the wall. She should've known that it talking to his son wouldn't be of any use, not in that state.  
" Oh for heavens sake, just get up and help me pick him up. He's still sleeping on the floor." She pleaded, helplessly.  
" Wake him up. He'll get up." Louis' reply came nonchalant and indifferent. Did he not care that his son was sleeping on the floor? Priscilla inhaled deeply, trying to compose herself before talking again.  
" Louis, you get up right now, or I swear to God, I will kick you out." She let out, tiredly. She didn't know what she had expected when she had let out those words, but it was, definitely, not what happened next. Louis jerked his head up to look at her, an offended tint to his expression.  
" Oh yeah? Then do it. Be like them. Throw me out. I'm only a burden to you, anyway." He got up and walked out of the door, all the while screaming at his mother.  
" You did not get married to be like this! You got married for your own happiness." Priscilla did not know what to do but what she knew was that it had been going on for too long, and it had to be stopped before it could get worse.  
" Well, I'm not happy!" He wailed, walking over to the staircase.  
" I don't care! You are not a child anymore! You have responsibilities, and you have to own up to them. You can't just give them up to others!" He halted in his tracks, turning around slowly.  
" So, now my child is a burden to you?" His words came out bitter.  
" What?" Priscilla frowned, perplexed by his son's statement.  
" You know what? I'll just go. You won't have to deal with the both of us. No one will have to deal with us." Louis shook his head before turning and walking over to Zayn.  
" What are you saying?" Priscilla followed him; the frown still presents on her forehead. Louis did not answer her. Instead, he went up to where Zayn laid, jerking the little boy up to his feet. Zayn blinked his eyes open, apparently confused about his surroundings.  
" Louis, Stop it. You've gone mental." Priscilla reached out to grab Zayn from his rough grasp only to be pushed away.  
" I'm mental! I'm mental!" Louis threw Zayn behind him, yelling at his mother.  
" Zayn." Priscilla could see his grandchild trembling in fear, his eyes wide and tears already pooling in the corners.  
" He is the reason you're tired of me. He is the reason; I have to stay in this marriage. He is the reason for everything!" Louis turned grabbing Zayn from his hair making the toddler yelp. Stunned, Priscilla watched as his son slapped the little boy with such intensity that he crashed to the floor.  
" Louis!" She managed to overcome the shock and pulled Zayn away from Louis, shielding him with her body. " What do you think you are doing?" She pushed her son away, utterly shocked at what she had witnessed. This person was not Louis. Louis was not one to hit anyone, let alone his own child.  
"I don't know." She watched as realization shone in cerulean eyes and he slumped down on the ground. Sniffling, he rubbed his face before looking at his son, remorse evident in his eyes.  
" You will call your husband right now. You will tell him to sort his mess and if he can't. You will get a divorce. Zayn is not the one who's holding you back and if you still think like that. I'll keep him. I'll adopt him as my own, and you can do whatever it is that you want with your life." She breathed. Things were getting out of hands and Priscilla did not want to wait for the day where it'll be too late to fix things.  
" I can't." Louis let out, defeated, shaking his head as the tears started leaking his eyes. Sighing, heavily Priscilla crouched down to his level and wrapped her arms around him.  
" You can not live like this. You are not yourself anymore. You..You just hit your son." That only made him cry harder. She held him as he cried, rubbing his back every once in a while.  
" I love him, mum. I do so much for him. I listen to everything they say. I don't even defend myself anymore. I was not the only one who got married. He is married to me too. Why do I have to bear it all? Why can't he just stand up for me once? Why?" Louis let out once he was calm enough. Priscilla felt herself smile when she saw Zayn wiping his father's tears away, kissing his forehead again and again.  
" It'll be okay." She said with confidence. She didn't trust Louis to keep himself at bay, but she trusted Zayn to drag him through life and make it worth his while. However, she was not sure that Louis would ever understand that.  
" When?" He sniffled letting her go and taking Zayn in his lap. Carefully, he patted the hair on the toddler's forehead, wincing when he flinched at contact.  
" I don't know, but you need to return to life, Louis. You have a lot to do now. You've got a long life ahead of yourself. You've got your little Kitten to look after." She let herself smile and placed a kiss on Zayn's forehead.  
Priscilla wasn't sure if Louis would be able to survive through it all, that was without changing himself. But what she knew was that Zayn would make it easier for him to survive, he just need to realize that.  
+  
Okay, I know it has been a month and yes I should've updated sooner but I have some life changing exams coming up and I have to prepare for them. So I am currently on hiatus till late may or early June. This chapter is in the celebration of mind of mine which might be the best thing that has ever happened to me and yeas.  
Comment something nice, I'll give you a shoutout.  
Saraxx


	3. two

"Stan, pass me the ball," Zayn smiled at the one-year-old as he walked towards him, clutching the ball with both of his hands. They were playing on the porch waiting for Darren to come back with the biscuits for tea time. Tea time was the most important part of the day at Sharon's house. It was basically the time where all the household sat together and gossiped about everything and anything. The kids talked about what they did at school and their mother told them ancient stories about people who had done her wrong.

It could also be listed as the time where it was okay to insult and taunt Louis. Everybody had the time of their lives when their mother started on listing the faults in the cerulean eyed lad, making fun of him and blaming him for absolutely anything. Sharon loved badmouthing Louis, especially on the rare occasions when Zayn joined them at the tea table.

The raven haired toddler didn't understand why his aunt was so against his father. He didn't get why she said all those bad words about him. He had never heard his papa saying all those words about Aunt Sharon. So why did she spoke so ill about his papa?

The worst thing about it was that his Aunt thought he didn't understand what she said and she often laughed at him for that, calling him dumb and a few other words he couldn't quite comprehend. Sometimes, Zayn wanted to scold her for talking bad about his Papa but then he would be reminded of what his fathers taught him about talking to elders and then he'd just stay quiet.

Usually, Zayn tried to stay upstairs waiting for Stan to come to his room so that they could play together. However, every now and then his best friend would drag him downstairs to play with his toys and being Zayn he just couldn't say no.

It was one of those few days. Zayn was still contemplating if he could go upstairs without his aunt spotting him when the doorbell rang.

" Bi!" Stan jumped up running towards the door calling out for brother in his own distinct way. Zayn followed his friend in a hesitant manner knowing that it was too late to think about it anymore. He would have to sit through another session of his aunt insulting his papa and he could do nothing about him.

" Who's there?" Zayn asked as per his father's instruction.

" Boogieman!" Stan screamed, clearly frightened. He turned in his steps running back to the front door. Zayn only laughed a little as he opened the door. He was almost used to this, his father trying to scare him every time he came home and even though he rarely got scared anymore, his dad never stopped trying.

" Daddy!" He chuckled as Harry lifted him up from his shoulder and placing them on his neck.

"How's my wolverine?" The curly haired man kissed his son's hand before shifting him onto his hip and walking out of the door. Zayn frowned at his father's action confused about where they were going.

" Wanna go on a ride?" Harry kissed his forehead before placing the little boy on the motorcycle. Zayn wanted to ask about his papa but he didn't know if he should. Harry fixed a small helmet on his son's head before sitting behind him on the vehicle.

Zayn almost jumped in delight when he saw his Papa coming out from the door. Louis' looked tired but there was a rare shine in his eyes and a small smile on his lips. The cerulean eyed lad walked towards the motorcycle in slow but firm steps, Harry got off the motorcycle and secured the helmet on Louis' head before helping him up on the motorcycle. When he was sure that his husband was comfortable he sat back in his position and started the motorcycle.

" Hold on tight." His voice came out guarded. Harry was aware that Louis was still mad at him for obvious reasons but he didn't want his husband to get hurt due to the differences between them. The curly haired lad felt his heart burst out in happiness when he sensed the familiar thin arms embrace him, tightening around his waist.

You see Harry didn't want to hurt Louis, no that wasn't his intention. In fact, he wanted to make him happy in every way he could. He wanted to give him the life he deserved. But Harry was helpless. He was indebted to his family in more ways than he could account for and so he wasn't exactly in the position to stand up against them. Sharon had supported him when he had nothing, she had given him a roof to sleep under and career to work on. Basically, Sharon had given him life and she never forgot to remind him that. Harry knew what they did to Louis was inexcusable and nobody should have to go through that. They were mentally torturing him and he was slowly losing himself to them. Harry wasn't any good himself. He had always been a man of short temper and so he didn't do well in situations where he was being cornered by every side and so he did what he had to do to keep his sanity intact. He ran away. Everytime things took a bad turn Harry would avoid the situation completely, locking himself in his office for days so that he wouldn't have to face the aftermath of the events. He just didn't have the willpower to get stuck between the mess of Sharon's outrageous behaviour and accusations and Louis' innocent mistakes. Anyone could see who was wrong in the situation but when you live in someone's house you don't exactly have the power to shut them up.

" Woo Woo, Daddy?" Harry smiled at his son's gestures, getting a stronger grip on his the handles.

" Wolverine wants me to go faster?" Zayn nodded, his eyes shining with excitement. The toddler loved the way it felt when the air stroke his face.

" No. We don't need to go any faster." Louis exclaimed hurriedly. Harry smiled as an idea struck him. The curly haired lad watched as his son slumped in his position, some of the excitement dissipating off of him.

" You know Wolverine, we shouldn't go fast like this," Harry said before increasing his speed and rushing through traffic. An involuntary smile crept its way up onto his lips, as he heard Zayn laughing wholeheartedly and Louis screaming for him to slow down, worry evident in his voice.

Soon they stood outside their destination, their breathing fast and their hearts loud in their ears. Harry stopped the bike and chuckled as Louis jumped off the bike in one swift motion.

" How many times do I have to tell you not to do that?!" Louis said while rubbing his chest trying to slow down his pounding heart. Harry took off his helmet and helped Zayn down before getting off and taking his son' helmet off.

" What?" He chuckled as Louis shook his head at his antics.

The cerulean eyed lad struggled with the helmet for a few seconds before finally taking it off. Harry secured the bike and started walking towards the entrance of the park, with Zayn on his hip and Louis right beside him.

It was a pleasant day and that was the exact reason why Harry had decided to take his family to the park. The thirty-one-year-old had planned it carefully getting a few of his friends to set up a picnic that would be suitable for both the lovers and their baby. Excitedly, he led them to the tree that he had chosen himself.

" So what do you think?" Harry looked at his family expectantly, the grin on his face permanent. Louis looked at the basket full of chocolates and the bucket of fried chicken on the blanket before diverting his gaze towards his husband and flashing him a genuine smile. If anyone knew how to make it up to him, it was Harry. His husband had used all of his guilty pleasures and even if Louis tried he couldn't stay mad at him any longer. " Sit down. " Harry sat down himself before patting the place beside him. Louis rubbed his hands at his knees before placing himself beside his lover. Quickly, Harry made him a plate and gave it to Louis, his green eyes glowing in happiness.

" Wolverine come here sit down with Daddy." Harry pulled Zayn into his lap and fed him from his own plate. Louis smiled fondly as he witnessed his husband breaking the food into smaller pieces and blowing on it before putting it in the raven haired toddlers mouth. " Is it good? Do you like it Kit?" Harry shuffled his hair as Zayn only nodded, eating away at his food wordlessly.

" Do you like it Kits' papa?" Harry looked at Louis, an amused expression on his face. Louis chuckled before nodding and feeding some of the food to Harry.

" Do you like it?" He asked, chuckling when Harry nodded fervently resembling a little child.

Soon they were getting comfortable and both the parents were talking away carelessly while Zayn looked at the colourful balloons, fascination clear in his eyes. The four-year-old was completely endorsed in the balloons unaware of his surroundings. His mouth ajar and his eyes wide open.

" Kit do you want a balloon?" Louis asked him getting his answer when the toddler didn't even turn his head to look at them.

" I think he wants one. What colour though?" Harry shook the residual dust on his hands before standing up and heading towards the man who was selling the balloons.

Louis felt fondness pool in his stomach as he saw Harry buying the entire stall and giving it to Zayn. He laughed as his son tried to keep a hold of all the balloons worrying about getting pulled up with them. He couldn't stop smiling when both the father and son ran after a balloon which managed to escape from their grasp, Harry jumping up in the air just to catch the balloon for his wolverine. He felt at ease when they went home that night and nothing could ruin that day. Not Sharon's angry glares, not her absurd accusations nothing.

So if you want to know why Louis stayed with Harry and why he was willing to go through all the trouble it was because of these days and these moments. The cerulean eyed lad knew that nobody could give Zayn what Harry gave him and nobody could raise him better than his own father. Zayn needed them, both of them and Louis was determined to give that to him no matter what the price.

+

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	4. three

However, Louis was not home and he had told his son to stay downstairs until he returned. Slouching, a Zayn let his gaze fall to his lap.

" Kit, let's play now?" Stan hooked his hands under his shoulders helping him stand up. Zayn smiled at him nodding at the question that sparkled in those black eyes.

" I'll run you catch me," Zayn said before breaking out into a sprint. Stan laughed running after him, the smile constant on his lips. His hair had already started drying sitting in front of his forehead falling into his eyes.

" Slow down, Kit! I'm smaller. You catch me first." He panted, stroking his hair away from his eyes. Zayn stopped nodding at him before turning the direction of his movement and following the younger lads pace.

" Stanny, I'm gonna get you." Stan yelped as his cousin got dangerously close to catching him, ducking his head to get away. Zayn raised his hand forward to get closer to the lad but as little as he was, he was very fast and got away every time.

" Kit." Stan panted slowing down a little, clearly worn out. Zayn took this as the opportunity to get the pale but as he got closer. Stan started running again, this time towards the front door. The three-year-old climbed the two steps up and ran inside.

" Stan this is cheating." Zayn stopped, huffing before resuming his course. Unfortunately, there was a little puddle of water right in front of the bottom of the stairs. Zayn's slipper stuck themselves to the puddle and she he tried to move again he stumbled forward landing chin first into the first step.

He didn't account for the scream that left his lips, completely paralysed by the pain that sent shocks to his jaw.

" Papa." He whimpered, folding into himself unaware of the severity of his injury.

In a distance, he heard someone chuckling. " It's your punishment. He won't let me play with him because of you. It's your punishment." It was Hera. Zayn felt the tears rolling down his cheeks, his heart clenching for his father. He whimpered when another wave of pain crashed against his face, making him cry out in agony and humiliation. His never one opened throughout the whole thing.

" Kit!" Stan screamed, terrified at the blood that pooled around his friend's face. Zayn laid at the bottom of the steps, his eyes clenched shut, both of his arms around his face. Alarmed, the three her old ran back to his mum pulling at her shirt.

" Kit's hurt, money! Kit's hurt!" He shrieked, letting his tears fall. Fiona left the kitchen with her youngest son, agitation clear on her face.

" What happened? Did he scratched his knee again?" She huffed, trying to search him in the porch. " Where is he?"

" Here, mommy, ere." Stan pointed towards his friend urgently, his tears falling move rapidly now. Fiona gasped at the scene that greeted her, fear washing over her.

" Kit." She reached her nephew, hauling him up to her lap. Her breath hitched at the amount of blood gushing out of his chin. " God! What happens?" She said concern heavy in her voice. Quickly, she clasped her hand around his chin trying to stop the blood flow.

" Papa," Zayn whined earning a soft hush from his aunt. The six-year-old still hadn't opened his eyes clenching them shut forcefully.

" Call Mama Sharon." Fiona directed Annie, fear sharpening her instincts. She didn't know what she felt, wasn't sure what had happened but on the thing was clear. She was scared. " Tell her to come now." Annie nodded before getting up to her feet and rushing inside. The entire household sat together now, surrounding the injured child on the first step of their front door, waiting for Fiona's elder sister to come.

" Kit." Stan urged his friend to react, his voice meek and tentative. Grinding his teeth together in pain, Zayn let his eyes open blinking through the tears giving a small smile to his worried friend. Stan started crying harder, no sound escaping him.

Soon the fate rattled alerting them of the presence outside. Darren opened the door to let in Sharon and Louis.

Louis gasped, shaking his head at the blood that laid on the ground and his son who was cuddled up against Fiona. Swallowing, back the tears he rushed towards them kneeling beside the boy, who jumped for him to take him.

"Oh Kit," His lower lip wobbled at the tears that leaked out of his son's eyes, his heart clenching at the blood that leaked through Fiona's strong grip. Immediately, he took him in his own arms, replacing her hand with his own. " My God!" He cried at the pressure that strikes her hand.

" Papa." Zayn's broken voice made his heart crack, guilt gnawing st his sides.

" Your fine, baby." He rocked him back and forth, peppering his face with kisses. It was the only form of reassurance he could give to him.

" Harry's out of state. We're going to have to take him to the hospital on foot." Sharon declared, sizing the boy up carefully. " Give him to me. You're in no state to carry him, Lou." Sharon hooked her arms under the boy hauling him up, his father following suit. Louis kept his hand on his chin but soon it was replaced by Sharon's paler one. " Don't worry. Come we have to move fast." She gave her brother in law a reassuring nod. Louis wiped the tears from under his eyes, following his sister in law out of the gate.

Together they dashed to the hospital, conscious about jerking the child around too much. Zayn himself had fallen awfully quiet. The six-year-old was careful of his actions, reluctant to see his Papa cry again. He cried when aunt Fiona insulted him. He cried when grandma Rina fought with him. He also cried when daddy didn't talk to her. And Zayn didn't want to be on that list. The list of people who made papa cry and so he kept his feelings to himself. The raven haired boy spaces out the pain until they were at the hospital and he was laid onto the bed. Honestly, he was too tired and wanted to sleep already but the shock of those pain waves kept him awake.

" Is it going to leave a scar?" He heard aunt Sharon ask the doctor, as his father went to buy the required medicine.

" It might." The doctor said, filling up the syringe with a colourless liquid.

" Make sure it doesn't show up on his face.." her tone was serious.

Zayn almost shrieked when the doctor brought the injection closer to his chin but then his father came into his view, his cerulean eyes red and puffy. Immediately, he bit his tongue, trying to make the least movement possible when the needle was inserted into his skin. After that, he did feel the burn of the first few stitches but he didn't let out any noise to indicate pain, wary of his papa's reaction to it. Soon it was over and he was back in his father's arms, a huge gaze taped to his chin.

And that was the story of his bravery and patience.

Aunt Sharon retold the story it more times than he could recall, marvelling at the bravery of the six-year-old. She said that she didn't remember if the doctor had given him any sort of anaesthetic but she remembered that he had to take a chunk of flesh out of his chin and even then Zayn hadn't cried.

Harry's first born had sat through all the times blushing at the appreciation and smiling at her misconceptions. She thought that he had stayed strong because she was there with him and that gave him moral support. No doubt that was a reason too but only Zayn knew what the real reason was. He kept his composure for the sake of his papa and himself. If he believed he was fine then he would be fine. And if aunt Sharon had volunteered to go with, every time he needed a doctor, because she thought he needed her, she was just over crediting her presence.

Zayn remembered when he had reached back home and how everyone had been there to welcome him. All of his cousins had looked at him with worried faces and that was the first time Zayn had seen such compassion from any of them, much less all. In all that crowd, there had only been one genuinely concerned face and that was Stan. Sadly, as years passed by that face only became a memory to Zayn. Hera had been nice to him too, letting him touch her makeup.

The ravenette had slept a happy boy that night fooled by the worried and concerned faces. He wished he was smart when he was younger. It would've have saved him a lot of time that he had wasted in pursuing people and seeking their affection.

If only he had realised then that if he could keep a straight face through the most painful of times, why couldn't people mock the expression of concern and hurt when they needed to. If he could conceal his pain then they could conceal their hatred too and they did.

And as his chin had a scar to prove the stairs brutality, the broken part of the stair in the shape of a semi-circle, showed how strong he was. He was strong and the people were trying to break him and even if they did get to him, he could pull a straight face through it all.


	5. four

A/N this might contain triggers.

Obedience was a trait that Zayn had acquired from Louis. The feathery haired lad was what people like Gabriel, Eli's wife, placed under the category of 'over-obedient'. However, Louis' obedience was only a part of the changes he had to make when he was adapting to his married life, but Zayn, on the other hand, had been that way since his birth. Maybe it had to do something with his father's behaviour and learning that it was always better to do what you are asked for. Or maybe it was an instinct for him. Nonetheless, obedience had always been a natural trait for the ravenette and everyone knew that.

People like Sharon and Fiona, who had rowdy and ill-mannered brats for children, were always amazed by their nephew's behaviour. Fiona often recalled that when Zayn was in first grade, she had asked him only once to stand under the big oak tree, so that she could easily spot him, and for all the five years she had picked him up from school, Fiona had always found the dark skinned lad standing under the same tree. Words of appreciation from a wicked person like his aunt Fiona meant a lot to Zayn. They managed to wipe all the bad memories and ill feelings that his heart harboured for the cruel lady. And even after all that, she had done he gave her a clean slate again.

Come to think of it, Zayn had the worst memory of all time. His brain had a compartment where it collected all the bad memories and locked them. For years, he hadn't be reminded of them until he was too old to not think about it. The bad parts of his life came to him in brief glimpse, making cold shudders pass down his spine, leaving him jittery and torn.

One of those memories was especially dark and left him angry and conflicted every time he thought about it. Sometimes he'd dismiss them, thinking that it was only in his head. But the images that flashed in his head were too vivid to have been imagined.

He doesn't remember how old he was, five or six at the most. What he did remember was that Darren was a huge guy back then too. The eldest son of Fiona had developed a habit of playing with his little brother and cousin. It was weird considering he was almost sixteen, which was too old to play ball with two toddlers but everything in that house was strange, so no one ever questioned it.

Zayn didn't remember what was different that day. Maybe Stan was sick or maybe he was out with his mother. But all he knew was that the toddler wasn't playing with them and they were playing in Darren's room that day.

When he was greeted by the glimpses for the first time, he had felt dirty and confused. But when they kept flashing behind his eyes, getting clear and clear, that was when he started questioning everything.

Where was papa that day? or daddy? or anyone else?was what he saw all of it or did his mind had more of it and was waiting for the right time to unleash it. However, the most important question was that why hadn't he stopped? and why hadn't he tell anyone?

" You wanna do something fun, Kit?" Darren asked his younger cousin, who was sitting on his lap. Zayn nodded, too caught up in the new ball in his hands to see the odd look on his elder cousin's face. " Okay, but it will have to be our secret. Yeah?" His words came out jumbled and quick.

Gently, he pushed Zayn off his lap rushing to the door. As soon as the click of the door signed the security of his room, Darren sighed. The sixteen-year-old looked at his younger cousin, who was standing in the middle of the room, completely oblivious to his I'll intentions.

For a second, he stopped to rethink what he was about to do but soon desperation clouded his mind, all of the sane parts of his brain collapsing under it.

" Kit, you promise you won't tell anyone? Promise Darry?" The older boy reached him, grabbing both of his arms, waiting for a sign to convince himself that he was safe.

Zayn tilted his head a little, at the urgency in his brother-like cousin's voice. Frowning, he nodded firmly, no words escaping him.

Darren gulped before starting his unplanned scheme.

" So, you know I have a wily down there?" He tried to explain the six-year-old as best as he could. Zayn blushed not showing any other response. " Well, it's hurting and I need you to help me fix it. Will Kitty help me fix it?" The older lad continued desperation clinging to every word that left his lips.

" Okay." Zayn finally voiced out, concern thickening his usually soft voice. Darren sighed in relief, haphazardly getting out of his pants, pulling his boxers along with them.

Zayn's eyes widened at the size of that thing between his cousin's legs. Nudity was not a common thing in the household so the ravenette had only ever seen his own little thing. And compared to that, what stood in front of him was a monster. The amazement was clear on his face, his amber eyes wide and mouth agape.

Darren looked at the innocence on the younger lads face, a voice at the back of his head screaming for him to stop. 

" So, you are going to take it in your mouth and lick it like a lollipop. No biting, though." But with a hard on, his brain didn't really stand a chance. Zayn looked at him, questioningly. " It's really hurting, Kit." Darren moaned out while wrapping one of his hand around his balls, fondling them gently. The six-year-old, utterly lost on the situation, mistook the moan of pleasure for a moan of pain. Hastily, he leaned closer to the member thinking of it as a lollipop. Soon, he found himself attached to the thing, his cheeks feeling as if they would burst out.

Darren moaned loudly, pleasure tingles shooting up his spine. His eyes rollers back as his younger cousin worked his mouth between his legs. Zayn's eyes teared up at the pain in his jaw but he didn't stop because his cousin was in pain.

" Oh, Fu..!" The older lads back arched causing him to thrust into the already abused mouth. Zayn choked pulling away and coughing out loudly. Darren's hand wrapped itself around its member his eyes opening to look to look at the dark-skinned lad.

In one quick moment, realisation washed over him, the desperation clouding his judgement withering away as he saw the shear innocence on his cousin's face.

Tears leaked out of Zayn's eyes as he moved closer again, in an attempt to help his brother in pain. Darren felt like he had been slapped, the lack of reluctance in his cousin's actions making him more than guilty.

" Kit, stop." He sighed walking over to the door and opened the door. " Go to your room." He signalled for him to go out of the door.

" But you're hurt," Zayn said, worry shining in his amber eyes. The older lad felt as if he had strangled a baby kitten to death. ( which wasn't very far from the truth.)

With a fond smile, he pulled his pants up ignoring the friction against the wretched things between his legs. " I'm fine now, you helped me a lot. Now go to your room. And remember, don't tell anyone." He gave him a soft pat on his back before guiding the child out of the door and locking it. 

There are things in life that you never forget and then there are things in life that strike you up in memories and fuck with your mind beyond anything. This was one of those things. Zayn was ten when they greeted him the form of a thought that suddenly invaded his mind. It took him two years to believe that it wasn't his imagination tricking him but an event that his mind had stored for times when he had nothing to torture himself with. Three more years and he had accumulated a great hate for the species of nature that were called men, completely disregarding the fact that he was a boy himself. It took a lot of time for Zayn to come to terms with it but he got there, only letting himself think about the matter when the man would be sitting right in front of him.

No matter how many times he had tried telling someone, he could never do it. Every time, he backed out, thinking that people would put the blame on him. Or worse they would act as if nothing happened and it wasn't that much of a big deal. They would be disgusted by him and wouldn't want to stay with him.

What was the point of telling anyone, anyways? What could they possibly do about an event that had happened years ago?

Zayn felt a lot of things when he got targeted by the memories but the most important on was anger. Anger directed towards himself, for not questioning it, for not telling anyone, for being an introvert and for being so obedient.

\+ 

Hi! I told you guys this was going to be sad!

Disgusted?

Anyways this is going to be the last chapter for the week. Eid Mubarak everyone. You guys should check out my new Ziam story called 'Every Single Jigsaw Piece' and it would actually mean a lot to me if you leave feedback.

Comment what you think.

Preach.vote.comment.love Zayn

Love, Sara.


	6. five

Life's all about changes. Some good. Some bad. All equally disturbing. Well at least for Zayn.

The first ever change in Zayn's life was when Uncle Freddie got married. He was three and the concept of marriage was still very peculiar to him. He didn't get why someone would want to leave their house and come to stay with another person. Although Zander was actually a very cool guy and it didn't take Zayn that much time to get used to him. Now it could be all the pretty cakes he baked or how he braided Zayn's hair to make them look all cute but Zayn had fallen in love with Zander before he had the time to adjust with him. Then came Greg. Freddie was the one who told him about the new baby who was going to play with him but in his four-year-old mind, all Zayn understood was that someone was coming to take away his toys. Fortunately, Greg was cute enough and Zayn didn't mind sharing his toys after all.

The hardest of all the changes he had to go through life was when Billy left for college. Zayn and Billy were closer than close. The older lad was only thirteen when his nephew was born and being the youngest he had always wanted a baby to play with. Zayn being Zayn had filled Billy's life with all the rainbows and unicorns in the world. And well Billy was the only one Zayn could blabber about to all day and all night long. It felt like Billy had raised Zayn himself, growing up in the process of it. So leaving the toddler was very hard.

One of the reasons for that change being harsh on Zayn was that nobody told him that Billy was going to leave and when they did they didn't tell him that he wasn't coming back for awhile. So one second Billy was giving him a wash and they were chasing the shampoo monster away and the next Billy was crying like a little baby.

" What happened? Did the shampoo monster got you, Uncle Billy?" Zayn cupped his face, tilting his head to the side, concern thick in his voice.

Billy chuckled, wiping his tears away and smiling at his nephew. " No, It can never get me. It only eats babies cause they are cute." He poked Zayn's side, earning a shrill squeak and so began the tickle war. Zayn laughed and laughed until he couldn't breathe anymore. And then Billy scooped him up in a towel, drying him gently.

" I'll miss you, Kitty." His eyes shined as he combed through his nephew's hair. Zayn was confused. Was he going somewhere? Then he realised it was Monday which meant Uncle Billy had school. So logically he figured that's where he was going.

" I mish you too." He nodded his head to emphasise the words. Billy chuckled.

They ate fries after that and played on Billy's phone. Then they went out to get ice cream and Zayn was shocked when his uncle bought him a chocolate too. For a moment he just looked at it and then asked his uncle.

" For me?" He pointed at himself with his little finger. Billy nodded his head, a huge smile gracing his lips.

" Don't tell papa, though." He whispered as if it were a secret and Zayn nodded before taking the bar.

When they got back home everyone was standing around in the living room and there were suitcases lying around everywhere. Billy had put Zayn down and helped out in setting all the bags and before they knew everything was ready except the people. Priscilla had locked herself in the room, stating it was too hard for her to say goodbye. Louis was trying his hardest not to cry and Freddie was moving around trying to hide his tears. Everyone was hugging and then everyone was crying. Billy was hugging everyone once again and then he was crying. It was a mess and Zayn was extremely confused. He just stood there at the side until it was over and then Billy hugged him, peppering hundred's off kisses on his face. And then he was gone.

When he didn't come back in the evening, Zayn sat at the door with his face in his hand and waited. He waited and waited, counting all the cars, jumping up when he heard the motorcycles. But Billy didn't come back. He sat there until Freddie came back from work and saw his sleeping for beside the door. The next morning they told him how uncle Billy was gone to college and it was all the way in London and he wouldn't be coming back before the holidays. Zayn had cried, not saying anything. Just crying and wishing silently for Uncle Billy to come back home.

That was the change in his life. When Billy completed his studies he decided to get settled in London and by the time he did came back Zayn was used to not having him around and it was never the same.

School was the change that came after that. Louis was pregnant which, Zayn didn't know about, so Mel and Zander had taken him to get his admission done. He had managed to do well in the test thanks to all the home tuitions he had taken the prior year. Except he wrote the six the other way around, even though he had tried to practice it like a hundred times the previous day. When they were done with the test. Zander had asked him if he wanted to go on the slide. He had gone just because Zander was smiling big and the slide was pink. And even though it was too hot and the metal burnt him, he still managed to smile at his uncle. His entire school experience was like that one slide.

Another big change in his life was Myra's birth. He was five and they were still living at Priscilla's place. Nobody had told him anything. Come think of it there were a lot of thing everyone knew and no one told him. Anyways, It was 26th August and he couldn't find his papa anywhere in the house. He had asked everyone if they'd seen him but not one of them could help. Around noon Aunt Mel had taken him to the hospital, where his mum told him he had a new sister now. At first, it felt weird, having a new sister, but then he had been lonely for awhile and he realised he could actually use some company. Little did he know, he was going to fall in love with that girl and for the rest of his year she would anchor him through life.

The next good change was their new home. Harry had finally earned himself enough money to buy a place for himself and nobody could be happier than Louis himself. The first time they had visited their house, it was dark and furnitureless, which was scary. But his papa was twirling and his dad was laughing so everything was very very bright.

"Am I dreaming?" Louis exclaimed, moving around from wall to wall, his eyes shining in glee.

Harry chuckled. " Feels like it, doesn't it?" He said. " Thank god it's not."

Louis opened his arms and twirled around like a ballerina, only with a lot less precision.

Zayn smiled, walking over to Myra who was crawling around on the carpet. He picks her up and sits down.

" It's because of you, you know. You're lucky." He whispered in her ear while rocking her around. She babbled around before placing her little hand on his face, making him smile big.

So, that's how it started. The life after changes.

+

Love, Sara.


	7. six

Zayn was laying on his mattress his eyes glued to the ceiling. It was quite late at night. His body was tired but his mind was far too awake for him to fall asleep. There were a lot of things Zayn missed about his previous home. Particularly, the people and the memories he had built there. The six-year-old was known to get attached to things quite easily. From inanimate objects to people, he had very strong feelings for all.   
Before he realised Zayn was sucked into a whirlwind of memories. He blinked his eyes close to see the first time he and Uncle Freddie had went to the carnival. They had sat on the pirate ship ride and Zayn was terrified. He saw Freddie's reassuring expressions and felt himself grow two more inches.  
" You're a tiger, Kit. Tigers don't get scared." And that was enough. Zayn did not scream even once. He didn't get scared even when they were high above in the sky and his feet didn't touch the floor anymore. It wasn't actually that bad to be very honest but maybe that was because of his uncle's tight grip on his arm. They had visited the amusement park every month after that and as a tradition, the pirate ship ride was the first ride they went to. Zayn recalled thinking why his dad couldn't ever take him to the amusement park until one day he did and maybe somethings only felt so magnificent because of the people you had around you.  
His mind wandered to his friends in his grandma's neighbourhood. He didn't really miss them but sometimes he remembered some of the things they did together and it managed to put a smile on his face. That one time it was raining and they had gone to the park together, all four of them. Zayn remembered playing with them all day and by the time he walked home he was covered in mud from head to toe. His papa's gaze was reprimanding and he knew he was going to get the biggest lecture of his life but then his grandma came and saved the day. She grasped him by his arm and silently took him to the washroom. Zayn had sat under the shower conscious of every sound that he made while his grandma scrubbed all the dirt and grime of off him.   
A heavy puff of air left him. He missed her a lot. She was always there. His shield. His everything. It's not like he didn't visit her but it was different. She wasn't there for him all the time now and it was disheartening.   
His mind went back to the time when he had gone to Charlotte's and a thumb pin had sneaked its way from her desk to under his heel. It was hurting a lot and so he walked back home and fell asleep. His grandma had known something was wrong but he didn't tell her what exactly just that his feet hurt. As soon as he fell asleep she called Zander and Freddie to check what was wrong with her precious grandson. And of course, Zayn woke up the exact second his uncle pulled the drawing tool out of his feet. Unlike what he had pictured there was no blood or pain whatsoever. It wasn't the first time he had felt stupid and it definitely wasn't the first time he had felt cared for.  
Surprisingly, though, his grandma's home wasn't the only place Zayn missed. Actually, he missed Fiona's house a lot more than he thought he would've. He missed Stan. He missed all the adventures and the treasure hunts they had went to. He missed waking up to a toddler waiting for him to brush his teeth so they could play. Or a toddler waiting at the door when he came back from school, dragging him to his room upstairs so they could reenact their favourite scenes from their favourite movies. Which basically consisted both of them trying to save each other from dying in different scenarios.   
Sigh. It had been ages since he had last seen his best friend and even when he came to visit all they talked about was how they missed each other. Stan asked Zayn to come back to his place more than a hundred times and even though he missed that place, there were just too many demons there and he couldn't let them get to him yet again.  
Although all these things never seemed to escape his mind but what he missed the most was his room upstairs. He had always thought of it like a cage and it was good to be free and have an entire house to himself. But unfortunately, he had fallen in love with the cage. He couldn't even get himself out of the little things that made his life all better and bright. How his dad would make plum juice in a plastic tub and when their heart was filled to the brim with the cold drink he would pour all the liquid on Zayn. And despite being sticky and having to take a shower, he'd be beyond happy in his little world with his dad's roaring laughter and his papa's little giggles. In fact, come to think of it, he missed that the most. Just the three of them against the world. Don't get him wrong, he loved his little sister and she was the best thing that had ever happened to him but he just missed being the only child.   
His eyes shifted to look at his parents sleeping on the bed, a cot laid beside them where Myra was sleeping in. They settled on the space between his parents and a small smile crept up his face. That was his place. He used to sleep there. And now he didn't. The smile dropped.  
He averted his gaze back to the ceiling his mind taking him to the first time they had gone for a trip. He was four years old and they went to a hill station. It was very pretty with all the tall trees and the calming wind. He and his dad were having a boxing fight. He was standing on the bed flinging his fist around trying his best to get his dad's chest but missing every time.  
" No, wolverine. You need to be faster." Harry had chuckled. Louis was sitting in the balcony going through his favourite novels. Zayn brought back his fist to strike again but his dad caught his fist in his massive hands, rubbing his wrists softly. He had a huge grin on his face and it made Zayn want to laugh out loudly.  
" Dad...Come on." He brought his fist back and threw a punch again. Harry's phone started ringing. He took it out, raising a hand in an attempt to stop his son from attacking again. But Zayn didn't take notice of it, aiming a fierce punch to his dad's chest. Unfortunately, Harry had moved from his place distracted by his phone call. As soon as Zayn flicked his wrist towards his dad's nonexistent chest, he lost his balance and fell face first into the carpet. A sharp pain through his nose made him scream out. Louis was on his feet in a second. He had picked his son up trying to calm him down. Harry had turned around to get himself a tight slap against his chest. Louis wasn't exactly a violent person, just an overprotective parent. Zayn's nose had been bleeding and he wasn't calming down even a little.   
" What the hell Harry?" Harry had excused himself from the call and threw his phone away.   
" I'm so sorry. Kit?" He took his son from his husband placing a hand under his nose.  
" He's bleeding!" Louis had freaked out. Harry took the bottle of water from his bedside and pour it over his son's head.   
" Wolverine?" Zayn wouldn't stop crying and it was scaring his parents.  
" Harry do something?" Louis had started crying and the situation was getting more chaotic by the second.   
" Louis go order some ice cream. I'll take him to the balcony. A little fresh air might do something." He had walked to the balcony one of his hands pressed to his son's nose, which wasn't bleeding anymore but there was still a chance that it could. " Come on, Kit. Do you want to see the mountains? You like them, don't you?" No response.  
They had sat in the balcony with their cups of ice cream for hours before Zayn had spoken out. " I like chocolate." And Harry had laughed at that before getting him a chocolate ice cream.  
It wasn't the first time that Harry had picked him up when he fell down but it wasn't the first time that Harry was the cause of his downfall either.  
The one thing Zayn did like about his new home was that there was a calmness to it. Nothing was temporary and they didn't have to jump from one place to another just to get some peace. Life had a routine now and he liked it. The days where Aunt Fiona ruled were gone and he didn't have to care about his papa going downstairs and a fight breaking out. In fact, Zayn hadn't seen her in so long that he had actually forgotten the terror he felt when she was around. The only worry that was left was grandma Rina, Harry's mother, who had decided to come live with them for a while. Sometimes she was rude to papa but not as bad as her daughter. Aunt Sharon came almost every day, with both of her daughters, Natalie and Riley. Zayn's cheeks heated up as he remembered the time when he couldn't find Myra anywhere and Riley had found him opening all the cupboards, looking through them for his lost little sister. Turned out Shane had taken her out for an ice cream. Zayn liked Aunt Sharon and her family. They were all good to him. More importantly, they were all good to his papa.   
Sighing, he rolled over in his mattress and closed his eyes. It was good he decided. His new life, it was good.


End file.
